Friday, July 31, 2009

The Lost Soul Dream

          Dear readers, I will no longer post much of hypnosis pertaining material here. At least it will not be directly related to Hypnosis as in my previous ( only a few ) posts. Reason? Ha, secret. Can’t tell you. Ok, a hint: most of my Hypnosis material shall be in a different form, which will be announced to your knowledge later.

         But for now I would like to invite you to my rather peculiar world of dreaming. I dream, just like all of us. And I decided that I want to start writing my dreams and maybe try analyzing them if possible.

          I must say that my dreams are like the alternate world of existence. I literally live a parallel life, which I very much look forward to sometimes.

          Two nights ago I had a very vivid dream, after which I began understanding one interesting concept of  a “lost soul.” You know how sometimes people say, “ Oh, he ( or she) is a poor lost soul.” You kind of get the meaning of it: that the person is lost or having some troubles or doesn’t have a direction in life or simply unlucky or whatever.

         We all have some sort of perception of this expression, and it is somewhat similar I believe. But how did that expression ever come to life? It must have started somehow. Just think about it: Lost soul. Where is it lost exactly? Is it in a body at all? If not, then where is it lost? And where is it supposed to go? I frankly did not think of such questions till the time I had my dream two nights ago, which I am about to tell you.

          But let me say something else. Before I had that dream, I was listening to Philosophy lectures on Death ( yes I am a bit of a nerd!) a few nights in a row from an Open Yale University by Professor Shelly Kagan. His last two or three lectures were on suicide. So, for the last couple of days before the dream I had been pondering this concept and  why people would want to end their lives. In my blog I will not go much into a philosophical discussion of suicide and death. Though I will add that Shelly Kagan, as he calls himself  is a physicalist ( vs. the dualist) and is  also a determinist. Putting it simply, he is an atheist and believes that after we die- we just die, that there is no soul, we just vanquish. Zero. Nada. Kaput!  We are all mortal, he believes. I don’t want to argue that ( just yet). But before I bore you with too much philosophy, let’s get to my dream.

           I am asleep. Deep sleep. I am in Russia. I lie on the floor in my aunt’s apartment. We are all in the kitchen. Many people are around, mostly relatives. All worrying. Something terrible is happening. There was some poison in the city to which many people were exposed. Not sure exactly how. But I am a victim. I am dying. I know it. I see that my parents are not there. And my aunt is holding my hand. I feel that the death is coming. What a feeling: knowing that you are about to die.  I know that in a few seconds  I will go, I will be out. How could I know? I feel the nearing of death somehow consciously and physically. I will be blunt, it is very close to a feeling of  knowing that you are about to climax. Some of you (or many) may know that feeling.

           Anyway, I know, I am about to die and I tell my aunt, “Please tell my parents that I love them very much!” And suddenly I feel I am rising out of my body. I feel myself coming out of my heart, neck, and head  - all together . It is a strong physical sensation, also very liberating! Oh, I should add that the few seconds before knowing that you are about to die  - you actually look forward to dieing, because somehow in these few seconds of prelude you understand how great death will feel.

           And so, I am out of my body and streaming through the rooms and passing through the walls! I just fly so fast through the balcony and out to the streets.  I go up and down so fast and so high and so low. I still know that I am me! I know who I am. I know that I am separated from my body and also from everything else around me. I don’t see myself. I want to talk, but don’t hear myself. I probably don’t even have a mouth. Yeah, I don’t! Wow, what a feeling! I am flying so fast! Where should  go? I just feel so happy now! I am flying fast because I want to see my parents and say hello.  I fly to the left where my parents’ house is.

          I see my father walking, he looks so happy and smiles. And I come close to him and want to talk and hug him. But he doesn’t see me. I am unseen! Of course I am, because I am dead!!! I am so distraught; I fly higher in the sky. I fly to the left and right.  I have nowhere to go, nobody sees me. Nobody knows of my existence. I must do something about. I am a lost soul! Lost soul! What should I do? I want to come back to my body. Where is it? I want back, back to life! I want to be in my body, I have so much to say,  so much to do and accomplish in my life! I want back.

          And suddenly I am feeling my arms, my chest, every single nerve and muscle in my body enlivening so slowly. Cell by cell, back to life. I feel my physical body and I slowly open my eyes. I am back  in my body here in my apartment in New York City. What a great feeling to be alive! I have so much, so much I have not done, and I am just appreciating being alive.

        That was my experience of being a lost soul in space without the body and nowhere to go and no one to see or hear me. Perhaps, that’s the feeling one gets when ending one’s life and not having accomplished what he or she  ought to in one's journey?