Friday, August 21, 2009

The Airplane. The Bus. Two Certificates.

       The dream I had last night was very strange. I have a need to write it down. Of course, like many dreams it was very metamorphic in its nature, without much logic, you just fluctuate from one body to another or one space and time to the next. At first sight dreams seem to lack any type of normal human logic. But what if in reality dreams actually have their own unique logic? The kind of logic unbeknownst to any waking state? I don't know.
       The dream I had last night was very strange, I wonder if there is any logic to it at all. Even if it's that other type of alien and abstract , which I yearn to understand.
       Here it starts, my dream.
       I feel very good. I know I am safe. I am next to someone I love. It feels warm and I can feel his touch. I do not see his face. But I know that we both in love and I trust him. I look around, we are on the small white plane. I notice that we are both naked. We are so close to each other.
       "Let's do it", he says.
       "What, my darling?" I ask him lazily.
       "Let's go!"
       "Where?" I ask.
       "To the top, very top of the airplane!"
       "You are out of your mind! It's dangerous…"
      " Trust me, let's go!"
       He takes my hand. We both somehow ( in abstract dreamy logic) get to the very top of the airplane and spread out on it while  it's flying through the air. We did it! I lay on the top of his body facing the sky. The airplane is flying so fast, the wind passes by. I can feel chills on my body. I feel so safe and secure. We are still both naked.
       Suddenly, we are falling off the plane. Falling down so fast. I look at him. Oh no! We are going to die! He doesn't say anything, just hugs me closer and we hold hands. The air is so cold and it feels so liberating to fly down so uncontrollably. We know we are going to die.
       We fall on the ground. I open my eyes. I move my body. I am alive. Tall dark green grass is looking right into my face. I see the empty fields to one side and the woods to the other. I try to stand up. Where is he? I look to the side. He doesn't move. I must do something to get out of this place and get to the city! I don't know if he is dead or alive.
       I take his body and carry it with me. I walk through the woods. I see the road.
       Cars are passing by fast. I look at myself. I am no longer Elena. I am him. And now I am holding Elena's naked body with my right arm. I hold it tight. I think she is dead, my woman is dead. What have I done! I need to get to the city. I try to flag down a car, but they all pass by me. They just don’t want to stop.
       Why? In fact they all speed up as soon as they see me! What the hell is wrong with these people? Maybe they think I am a criminal and killed this naked woman? That I am murderer? What idiots! Finally a very strange bus stops. It is extremely narrow and all red on the outside.        I walk in, there are few off-beat looking people in it. It is a very old looking bus. The driver keeps pressing down the horn and it rings like bells. He is very skinny and his face is all pockmarked looking. He asks me where I am going. I instantly notice that he speaks as if he never went to school, as if he is an ex prisoner or something. 
       I am a man. And I can spot this guy. He is definitely and ex convict. Where is my woman? Oh... She is next to me. 
       "Take me to the city," I say to this criminal driver.
       I am clothed. My woman is naked, she lays peacefully to my right side. She doesn't move anymore or say anything. What have I done…
       I get off the bus. I walk. Tall gloomy looking buildings. I walk into an old looking building. Elevator. Flat. I ring the bell. Somebody opens the door. Oh it's my cousin from Russia. Wait, I am Elena again. I am a woman. I walk through the long hallway. I enter a room and see a young man, it's my first boyfriend, the one whom I lost my virginity. I kiss him on the cheek. I am still holding something on my right side. Is it a body? No. Two folders. I look at them, then carefully put them on the table. 
       "What is it?" They ask me.
       "These are two death certificates," I reply.
       I woke up. Good morning, Friday.