My battle with the gym and exercising ended today. I am celebrating the end of war, because I resolved the conflict. I want to share this with you. Not only is my discovery enlightening; but also it is physically invigorating.
I have had a gym membership for years. I would go to gym, take classes, run the treadmill. Yet, I often felt exasperated and formed quite a bit of resistance toward gym. I would get on a treadmill and couldn’t wait for it to be over, I constantly looked at the time. I really hated it. I thought and I could even say that was possessed with the idea that I needed to exercise to loose weight and be skinny. I pushed too hard and never felt happy and so I often quit and wouldn’t go to gym for months, while I kept paying for my membership.
Today, I felt quite low on energy and thought about going to gym, but then this thought came to mind: I really don’t enjoy it anyway, why go? I then, said to myself, just go and enjoy, this time you don’t need to exercise to be skinny or to lose weight. You are exercising to move around and stay healthy. Do it slowly.
I got on a treadmill and started very slowly, just feeling my every muscle moving. Feeling my breathing. I decided I would not rush. I would not push it. I would just move slowly and feel comfortable, no matter how slow or fast I wanted to go. I simply shifted my focus to a new single idea: I exercise for my body now.
As I moved, I began to find my own rhythm, which felt comfortable to me. There were a few times that I would start pushing myself, like I did in the past and going against that newly found rhythm. When that occurred I would say to myself, “stop, just listen to your body, go long with it now.” Yes, I was slow, but that didn’t matter – my body still exercised and even more - I was beginning to feel good.
I felt the heat spreading naturally from my lower back all the way up to my shoulders, neck and into my arms. It dawned on me: even in exercising you ought to find your rhythm, which feels comfortable to you. The same rhythm you must find in life. In life, you can’t ever rush things; they come to you once you are fully in unison with the rhythm of your own self (your body, mind, thoughts- call it whatever you want, your life, your purpose, your being.)
Twenty minutes went by really fast on the treadmill today. I enjoyed it for the first time. My whole attitude has changed. I will now exercise for my body and health, the rest will come with time….
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